Laloo, Rabri and his son were returning from south by train. Laloo was ccupying the lower berth, Rabri the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train compartment.
The train stopped at one of the stations on the way back and the son asked Laloo to bring him a Cadburys chocolate.
When Laloo and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Upset and angry, Laloo called the Ticket checker & asked him to help.
The Ticket checker said that he could not understand Hindi or Bihari so it would be nice if Laloo explained the whole situation to him in English.
So Laloo explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."
Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news, I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby!
The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from BESC (Bombay Electric Supply Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma ?"*
"Yes...... speaking"
BESC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the BESC guy.
"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????"
"Yes ............. We have a system of finding out who's overdue"
"GOD !!!!!!......... this is too much.........."
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue" "I know that ....... let me talk to my husband about this tonight...... he will speak to your company tomorrow"
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to BESC office the next day morning
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?
What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at BESC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."*
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding meet with their Mullah for counseling.The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.Ahmed asks, "We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women.But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your permission to dance together." "Absolutely not," says the Mullah.
"It's immoral.Men and women always dance separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
Well, okay," says Ahmed, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!," replies the Mullah, "Alla ho Akber! (GOD is great)
Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"Alla ho Akber! Mafi Mushkila (no problem)," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" Ahmed asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Alla ho Akber. Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Alla ho Akber!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! Alla ho Akber!"
"Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. Alla ho Akber!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No, absolutely not!" says the Mullah."
"Why not?" asks the man.
"Because that could lead to dancing."
These four classified ads appeared in a Kuwaiti newspaper on four consecutive days.
The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.
MONDAY:
For sale - SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale.
Phone 2555-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap
TUESDAY:
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Shah's ad yesterday.
It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale cheap.
Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM."
WEDNESDAY:
Notice: SK Shah has informed us that he has received several annoying
telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands corrected as follows:
"For sale - SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale Cheap.
Phone 2555-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.
THURSDAY:
Notice: I, SK Shah, have no sewing machine for sale.
I smashed it.
Don't call 2555-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected.
I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.
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